Christmas Card Messages

Every year people receive and send Christmas cards to family, friends, colleagues, and loved ones. Most of the Christmas cards contain traditional Christmas wishes, messages about the New Year, or happy holiday season sayings.

If you were looking for something different than the traditional Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year message in your Christmas card this year, here are some funny Christmas card messages and quote ideas. You may find funny holiday season sayings, Christmas card sayings for family, about Santa Clause, funny quotes you may use in your Christmas card, and general witty Merry Christmas and Happy New Year messages too.

Funny Holiday Card Wishes

  • May your holidays be wreathed in joy.
  • Have a sleighful of fun this holiday season.
  • Give me an H! Gimme an O! Gimme an H! Gimme an O! Gimme an H! Gimme an O! What's that spell? HO-HO-HOLIDAY CHEER!
  • I hope this holiday season sends you over the rainbow and under the mistletoe.
  • Enjoy this season of unbridled consumerism, nonsensical customs, and rampant overeating.
  • May you be at peace, at least until your next credit card statement.
  • Happy Holidays! May your holidays be as lovely as they look on social media.
  • Season's Greetings to those we hold dear, from our home to yours, whether far or near.
  • Good times, good cheer, and a happy new year!
  • May the season be festive, and the laughter be contagious.

Funny Christmas Card Sayings

  • That warm feeling is not just the Christmas spirit; you left the oven on.
  • This Christmas, may your heart be light and your stocking heavy.
  • You know those commercials where the present is a brand-new car with a big red bow? Yeah, we are not doing that.
  • Have a cool yule and swell noel.
  • I put so much thought into your gift that it is sold out. Merry Christmas anyway!
  • Here is wishing your stockings are filled with something other than coal.
  • May your fun be large, and bills be small this year. Merry Christmas!
  • The only app I would like for Christmas is a "hAPPy holiday."
  • Remember that Christmas is about more than presents. There are also cookies.
  • I dream of a white Christmas, but I know I'll be in red before it's over.
  • Bring on the joy! Bring on the cheer! Bring on the present swap game.
  • Christmas calories do not count!
  • Christmas is the season when you buy this year's gifts with next year's money.
  • Christmas is a season of magic and mystery. All your savings for the year will have vanished, and you will not even know it. How awesome!
  • I have finally found the true meaning of Xmas; it's for those people who can't spell Christmas!
  • Only an accountant understands the real meaning of Christmas.
  • Merry Christmas, nearly everybody, and a Happy New Year to all!
  • Christmas is a state of mind and that special feeling that only comes with an empty bank account.
  • Have a holly jolly Merry Christmas.
  • Christmas is a race to see which gives out first – your money or your feet.

Funny Santa Clause Card Messages

  • Christmas is Claus for celebration!
  • Staying on the Nice List, I trust?
  • Is it too late to be good?
  • Santa saw your social media posts – you're getting a dictionary this year!
  • Did you hear that? It is either the magical jingling of eight flying reindeer pulling a miniature sleigh, or it is holiday tinnitus…
  • Happy Christmas. May you never be too grown-up to search the skies on Christmas eve.
  • Do not try to borrow any money from elves; they are always a little short! Have a Merry Christmas!
  • Santa told me you had been very good this year; I told him it was just a lack of opportunity. Merry Christmas!
  • Santa left batteries under the tree with a note that said, "Due to cutbacks, toys and gadgets not included."
  • Remember to clean your chimney before Christmas, lest Santa finds it un-soot-able.
  • Keep your nose and chimney clean this Christmas season.
  • I think Santa must ride a plane instead of sleigh so that he can reach me faster. I often fell asleep waiting for him.
  • Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year.
  • I left Santa gluten-free cookies and organic soy milk, and he put a solar panel in my stocking.
  • Dear Santa, for Christmas I want a fat bank account and a thin body. Please do not confuse it as you did last year.
  • Dear Santa, I was good all year, well most of the year… right, sometimes… at least a few times… OK, I'll buy it myself.

Funny Merry Christmas and Santa Puns

  • But first, let me take an elfie.
  • Christmas has me feeling extra Santa-mental.
  • Santa can't take a nonstop; he has to take a sleigh-over
  • Sleigh what?!
  • Do you know your alphabet?
  • "Say it to me face, I deer you.
  • Home, home on the rein… where the deer and the antelope play
  • I'll never fir-get you.
  • Lighten up; it is Christmas!
  • One, Two, Tree!
  • Have a dill-lightful holiday
  • I am so egg-cited about the holidays
  • It is Christmas Thyme

Funny Family Merry Christmas Messages

  • Christmas is a time for remembering family and trying to guess everyone's sizes! Have a Wonderful Christmas!
  • Wishing you all the wonders and joys of a child on Christmas morning.
  • Home is where the Christmas cookies and presents are!
  • I am writing a unique and personal message in each of my Christmas cards this year. So for you, I'd like to say: Whoever you are, Merry Christmas to my friend/family member who is really special.
  • What do you call a kid who will not sit on Santa's lap? Claustrophobic!
  • Everyone knows the most important part of the Christmas celebration is spending time with family you do not get to see very often. Then you have an excuse to neglect them for the rest of the year.
  • He who has now not Christmas in his heart will on no account find it beneath a tree.
  • Anyone who believes that men are equal to women should see a man trying to wrap a Christmas present.
  • I wanted to send you something AMAZING for Christmas, but the mailman told me to get out of the mailbox.
  • Christmas (noun). The only time of the year in which one can sit in front of a dead tree and eat candy out of socks.
  • Oh, what fun; the Christmas season has begun! May your blessings astound you and your loved ones surround you. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!
  • May your Christmas be filled with lots of happiness, peace, and love… ooh and lots of presents.
  • It is the time of year of eggnog, candles, cakes, songs, reindeer, Christmas carol, laughter – and most importantly, LOVE. Merry Christmas
  • They say that Christmas is just around the corner. How can it be when the world is round?

Funny Christmas Quotes

  • You can tell a lot about a person by the way they handle three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights. – Maya Angelou
  • Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas. – Johnny Carson
  • Nothing is as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas. – Kin Hubbard
  • There are three stages of man: he believes in Santa Claus; he does not believe in Santa Claus; he is Santa Claus. – Bob Phillips
  • Keep your friends close, your enemies closer, and receipts for all major purchases. – Bridger Winegar
  • Never worry about the size of your Christmas tree. In the eyes of children, they are all 30 feet tall. – Larry Wilde
  • Christmas is like candy; it slowly melts in your mouth, sweetening every taste bud, making you wish it could last forever. – Richelle Goodrich
  • From a commercial point of view, if Christmas did not exist, it would be necessary to invent it. – Katharine Whitehorn
  • I wish we could put up some of the Christmas spirit in jars and open a jar of it every month. – Harlan Miller
  • The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a happy family all wrapped up in each other. – Burton Hillis
  • The Christmas season has come to mean the period when the public plays Santa Claus to the merchants. – John Andrew Holmes
  • Christmas is a time when kids tell Santa what they want, and adults pay for it. Deficits are when adults tell the government what they want, and their kids pay for it. – Richard Lamm
  • A lovely thing about Christmas is that it is compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together. – Garrison Keillor
  • The best way to spread Christmas cheer is singing loud for all to hear. – Buddy the Elf, Elf

What is your favorite funny Christmas card saying?

Retha Groenewald is a professional writer working for FractusLearning. When not working with Fractus, she is web copywriter for the Christian market. Her writing is featured at Christian Web Copywriter and at Writing That Breathes Life.